When I got laid off, I did what any good job searcher does and put my resume on a few websites.  You know, making it work for me even when I’m not working, as the saying goes.  And the social media wonks talk about how important it is to network, [...]]]>

My inbox is a restricted area!

When I got laid off, I did what any good job searcher does and put my resume on a few websites.  You know, making it work for me even when I’m not working, as the saying goes.  And the social media wonks talk about how important it is to network, to increase your network, use resume keywords so you’ll be found in searches…it makes good sense.  However, everyone utilizing these employment search tactics should probably be a little more discriminating.

You see, I’ve been getting lots of responses to my background from recruiters and from hiring managers, and that seemed like a good idea for a while.  But when I started returning e-mails and phone calls I realized that most inquiries were for jobs I didn’t want or for which I was unqualified.  I’m very careful in crafting my employment profile, stating my geographic preference (NY City),  industry preference (consumer goods) and desired title (Marketing/Brand Manager).  Coincidentally, my resume matches these preferences, since I’ve lived and worked in NY for 5 years, and been in consumer goods marketing for about 6 years.  You’d think recruiters might see this and consider me for marketing gigs in New York.  Actually, you’d think wrong.

Every other day I get an e-mail or voicemail from someone trying to sell me a great job. “Hey! I saw your resume on a job site in which recruiters can filter candidates by location, but I’ve neglected to do so!  I’m working on a really AWESOME position in Ohio that you’d be PERFECT for, if only you’d take a paycut and a lower title.  If you’ve given up all hope, I’d love to speak to you! Give me a call!”  Grrr.

The whole “not really getting what I want” experience reminds me a lot of internet dating.  Come on, fess up, you’ve done it and you know exactly what I’m talking about.  You put up your photo, craft a grammatically-correct profile statement, and mention that you’re looking for a college grad who is over 6-feet-tall and likes to travel.  A few days later, your inbox is filled with messages written in all-caps, by short men who still live in their parents’ basement and think “international travel” is going to St. Thomas.  Now before you get all over me about being a dating snob, or a snob in general, realize that I’m not asking for something out of the ordinary.  Actually, I went to college, and I’m over 5’6″ and my passport has been stamped more than a few times, so it’s natural for me to ask for similar experiences in a man.  With respect to jobs, I’ve worked for Fortune 100 companies, and I’ve graduated from TWO top-ranked schools, is it too much to ask for a recruiter to offer me something similar in a new career?

The more I think about it, perhaps my internet search experiences have to do with the differences between men and women.  Men have huge egos, no matter who they are, and tend to act as if they’re gods when they’re not even minor deities.  I’ll paraphrase myself: lots of men have low standards when it comes to women (Tiger Woods, anyone?) hit on all of us until someone says yes.  I think male recruiters act the same way, presenting steaming plates of crap until they find someone who’ll eat it.  Hold on, again, before you haul off and call me a sexist.  Over the years, I’ve fielded a statistically-significant number of phone calls from men representing a position that bears no resemblance to my background or objectives.  They try to wear you down by making the jobs sound really great, and by listing the vacation and health benefits like getting a week off after Christmas is enough to make me commute for 3 hours each way.  No, I don’t think so.

I can tell you’re still not convinced about the way men “look” for people on the Internet, so I’ve got one more data point.  Here’s a quote from an e-mail I got on my MySpace profile.  Before you ask, there are no naked pictures there, only a pretty bland headshot and a few details like age, location, college.  Take a look at this e-mail (unedited) I got from a male suitor:

“Just looking at ur profile and found myself stuck at ur amazing beauty. Really wld like to know u more..”

Now here’s another quote – again unedited – from a male recruiter on LinkedIn, on which I list my full name and complete resume, but no picture:

“Subject: no anyone interested in a brand manager position Body: hello dear I wanted to reach out to you…”

As for the MySpace suitor, many a man have been “stuck at” my amazing beauty so I had to pass on account of bad grammar.  And speaking of grammar, “no” is an interjection, not a verb; check your spelling, and your use of “dear”, before you try to recruit someone for a job.

My personal philosophy – about men and careers – involves trying to match my desires to that of others, rather than selling them on some BS that doesn’t exist.   Gentlemen, as a public service, or just a service to me and all the other women looking for something via the web or a social network: utilize search criteria.  They really will save you lots of time.