Dating While Bipolar: Ruminations on love

love cardsLove – or romance, or whatever you call it when two people are drawn to each other in a non-platonic sense – is like gambling.  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you lose your house.  It’s not a sure thing, at least in my experience.  People endure unhappiness and loneliness too often for love to have a guaranteed payback like slot machines in a casino, which you also shouldn’t believe.

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Dating While Bipolar: Messed Up Expectations

I’ve mentioned to you before that I hate dating.  I’m not talking about being in a relationship with someone, but public outings with someone you don’t know well which involve some manner of getting to know each other better, usually through talking.  These pre-arranged outings a deux send my heart into palpitations and are the only activities other than exercise which make my hands sweat.

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The Triggers of Dating

indexAnyone who knows me probably knows that I hate dating.  I’m what you’d call an outgoing introvert, which means that I like being social even though I’m still pretty weird about people and social things.  Dating triggers a DEFCON 1 level of that weirdness in me.  I haven’t really figured out what it is.  It’s not meeting a new person, because I’m OK with that in professional settings.  It’s not one-on-one interactions because I have plenty of those with family and friends.  Maybe dating just brings up my character flaws and I feel more comfortable tackling those on the couch than with a cocktail and a near-stranger.

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A Therapeutic Roadblock

road_closedI’ve been here before.  Even after a bunch of good years, most of which away from this blog, and a fairly long relapse, I’m right back where I started:  confronting a difficult issue and dodging my therapist.

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