Dating While Bipolar: To Sex or Not to Sex

As Matt and I near the day of our second date, we’ve begin to explore the layers of our Sex-Positions-Silhouettesrelationship, particularly the onset of a sexual relationship.  You might think that the time between dates number one and two is too early to bring up sex.  Like many things, I’m of two minds about this.  Matt and I have a very strong attraction for each other and agree that we anticipate a strong sexual compatibility.  Also, we’ve both been with numerous partners, he’s divorced and I got out of a serious relationship at about the same time his marriage ended.  Essentially, we’re grown and we can do whatever we want, with whomever we want, whenever we want.  But in spite of my sexual freedom and desire, pursuing a more intimate relationship has as much of an effect on my mind as my body.

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Is it better to be optimistic or pessimistic in love?

Last week, a friend posted on Facebook about his 13-year-old son Joseph’s reaction to the most recent episode of Empire. Joseph was upset that Lucious cheated on Anika, and it wasn’t right for him to have hidden his true feelings for Cookie while still getting engaged to another woman.  The TV show reminded Joseph of his female friends, all of whom have been raised to expect that men will lie and that they need to protect themselves for when that happens in their relationships.  Joseph’s parents have raised him differently, to express his feelings and be honest and straightforward.  The boy confessed to feeling defenseless against girls who’ve been prepared to guard against male behavior.

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Everyone with mental illness needs a pet

In my senior year of college I had my first solo apartment, my first cat, and my first manic episode.  As mania goes, mine was pretty mild and pretty short.  I felt AMAZING as one does in these situations. I had tons of energy: I went to Home Depot and I loaded in a show; I had lunch with my cousin up from New York; I went on a coffee date; I cleaned my apartment and did my homework.  I didn’t sleep more than 5 hours across three days, as one also does in these situations, until the depression came.  I was lethargic, teary, unfocused.  Suddenly, I desperately needed to sleep and I couldn’t.  Zora, my cat at the time, was keeping me awake by tearing around the room and grabbing onto my legs with her claws.  She did that a lot, but that time I couldn’t take it.  I threw back the covers and screamed, “why won’t you leave me alone?” at Zora.  Then I began to cry.  As I sat cross-legged on the bed, Zora approached me, put her paw on my leg and calmly rubbed her head against mine.  All cat people know that this behavior means that your cat really loves you.  Zora happened to choose one of my lowest moments to express affection, and it made me feel better.

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Dating While Bipolar: Ruminations on love

love cardsLove – or romance, or whatever you call it when two people are drawn to each other in a non-platonic sense – is like gambling.  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you lose your house.  It’s not a sure thing, at least in my experience.  People endure unhappiness and loneliness too often for love to have a guaranteed payback like slot machines in a casino, which you also shouldn’t believe.

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Dating While Bipolar: Messed Up Expectations

I’ve mentioned to you before that I hate dating.  I’m not talking about being in a relationship with someone, but public outings with someone you don’t know well which involve some manner of getting to know each other better, usually through talking.  These pre-arranged outings a deux send my heart into palpitations and are the only activities other than exercise which make my hands sweat.

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