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bipolar HAIKU

mypolaropposite — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 16:25:11 +0000

Running, all the thoughts
Through my head. Anxiety
Reigns. Then, fatigue. Done.

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Things I just have to say about The #Oscars

mypolaropposite — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 03:39:04 +0000

I'm in Twitter jail, which is just wrong, but I still have many things to say about the last 5 minutes. Here they are:

why was John Travolta wearing jeans? If he wasn't wearing jeans, his pants need to put on a suit
commercial about Jamie Oliver's food revolution makes me want to put town my bowl of Oscar snacks. Well, not really, it's pretzels and Crystal Light lemonade, nut I really want a 6-pack of beer, a pepperoni pizza, and some Cheetos. We all make sacrifices.
Because I love small, newborn puppies, I don't want Avatar to win any more awards. A win for Avatar is support for fake filmmaking, and the murder of innocent puppies. And James Cameron's wife looks like she needs to eat.
Every time Hurt Locker wins a category over Avatar, an angel gets its wings. (RT @baratunde for that, but it's true)
I think that more Black people get to come to the Oscars when we're nominated for more stuff. So CCH Pounder, live it up this year 'cuz our last good year happened 8 years ago.

That's all until TweetDeck resets its API and I can share my sarcasm #140characters at a time…

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Why Black folks don't like Twilight

mypolaropposite — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:58:13 +0000

The internet is all agog over vampires with the release of New Moon, the second movie release in Stephenie Meyer’s popular Twilight book series. The film has broken box office records. New Moon devotees have taken over social networking sites, declaring their allegiance for “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob,” the two males vying for the affections of Bella, the story’s quirky protagonist. Teens, tweens, and middle-aged moms alike pine for the movie’s male stars Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Missing from the shrieking fracas are the young Black women swooning over Lautner’s swarthy good looks and washboard abs. Where, among the Twitter updates in French, Tagalog and – oh yes – Indonesian are Tweets from Sheniqua and Tyrone about their third visit to the cinema? Black folks are talking about New Moon but, like Baratunde Thurston of The Onion who held a live hate-tweet of the film, we’re just talking smack.

Here are a few reasons why my people can’t really get on the Twilight bandwagon:

Bella is weird: She’s the quintessential nerd, doesn’t fit in, and generally acts and looks as such. African-Americans have enough to worry about, enough reasons not to fit in without adding “I’m a dork” to the mix. We tend to hide our social discomfort behind nice clothes and bravado, so Bella putting it all out there for everyone to see just turns us off. Identifying with Bella’s geekiness is pretty much the key to Twilight fandom. Looking like a nerd is cool when Kanye does it; acting like a nerd is just not gonna happen.

We don’t like the cold: Edward is cold, like dead people. It’s not a generalization to say that Black people like warm things, since we’re usually the first people to break out a coat when the temperature drops. Not too many Black women will “cozy” up next to some cold, hard dude night after night, particularly when its cold outside. And even though Edward has cool amber eyes and the whole sparkling-in-the-sunlight skin, he’s also deathly pale. Its not really a popular look with the sisters and, therefore, hard to imagine him inciting suicide-level longing and lust. I’m just putting it out there.

Vampires are supposed to be violent: For better or worse, the African-American experience has been fraught with violence of some sort: slavery, integration, the ghetto. We kind of expect that things are going to turn bad in some situations, like when a family of vampires move into town. But it never happens in Meyer’s world! The Cullens are above – or beneath – the usual vampire blood-sucking, and the books and movies barely hint at the flesh-ripping scenes so common to the genre. For a Black audience raised on The Godfather, action movies and NWA lyrics, pacifist vampires are as boring as My Little Pony.

Perhaps there exists a legion of underground African-American Twilight fans lurking in the blogosphere, pining after inter-species love of all kinds. Until they reveal themselves, expect us to make merciless fun until the DVD release of Breaking Dawn.

The complaint box is empty

mypolaropposite — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:23:00 +0000

I have a complaint: people complain too much.

Have you ever noticed that when we complain, its usually something that we can control. Okay, okay, I’m the first person to kvetch, so much so that the New York Times printed one of my rants. But I do it for the sake of humor, not because I’m a curmudgeon.

The aunt that I live with is a frequent complainer, being at set-in-your-ways age when you complain about what’s not to your liking. Last weekend, she decided to wash windows and proceeded to complain about how tired she was after working all week and going to an 8:30AM meeting that day. However, she proceeded to sweep and clean…and complain.

It occurred to me, as I tried to leave the house, that she didn’t have to do the housecleaning at that particular second. She could have sat down for some lunch and a cup of coffee, made a phone call, even taken a nap. There was no company coming, no plans for the evening, and no concrete reason – other than personal choice – that my aunt had to do the housekeeping right then. If I hadn’t been rushing to catch the library and the post office before closing time, I’d have stayed to help. Within the hour, I’d have been back home and I suggested that auntie wait for my assistance. She’d have none of it and as I walked out the door, I heard a now-familiar tirade about “you young people” and our shortcomings.

I love my aunt but I just wanted to say “If you’re tired, sit down and SHUT UP about it!” In my opinion, you can’t choose to do something and then complain about doing it. Further, you can’t reject someone’s help and then complain about having to do it alone. Am I wrong, people?

My aunt is not alone, though, in her tendency to whine. People with lots of kids complain that they have lots of kids. I’ve got some news for them: you made the kids, so you know where they came from and how not to get any more. At 37, I’ve managed to avoid conceiving children because I know how hard it is to care for them; I don’t want to hear you bitch and moan about yours. Here’s a dollar, by a condom.

Movie stars complain about the paparazzi, the gossip mags, and fans wanting to know about their personal lives. If nobody cared about you, you wouldn’t be a star, and you wouldn’t be able to afford the mansion you live in, or even the security cameras around it. If you didn’t want anyone to know your name, you should have been a bus driver. But the trade off for the admiration and the pretty clothes and a percentage of the box office is people taking pictures of you and speculating about your love life. Once they stop caring, you stop working, just like what’s-her-name. Yes I’m talking about you, Julia Roberts! Make like Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, sell your photos for some cold, hard cash and smile for the cameras.

I’ll bet you a million dollars that the president doesn’t complain. Not just Obama, but all of them. Talk about a crappy job! Every decision you make could affect millions of people, and you’re never really sure where you stand. Scary-looking guys with sunglasses and earpieces follow you everywhere because one of the other guys with your job got shot. And lawyers and stock brokers make a butt-load more money than you for all the stress you have. But he’s POTUS, the most powerful person in the world. And he wouldn’t have run for office if he didn’t want the job, so stop complaining about how you hate your job and be thankful that your performance reviews aren’t a topic for the Sunday news shows!

You know who doesn’t complain? People with cancer . You never hear a cancer patient say, “Oh my goodness, my hair is falling out, and it makes my face look so fat” or “Don’t mind me I’m just vomiting. I can’t stand this chemo, what do those doctors think they’re doing?.” Actually, they suffer and suck it up, because the alternative is more sickness, more pain. They have no choice but to accept what is and thank God or Allah or their surgeon that they’re living another day. Then they get back on the bike, or go back to work, or start a charity walk, or go home and kiss their kids goodnight.

And I’m gonna guess there’s no complaining about how many toys are on the floor.

Honesty is good for the soul

mypolaropposite — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:16:53 +0000

And good for other people, too. Like Tyler Perry who talks candidly about the child abuse in his past, I want to talk about the things I’ve been through in the hopes that it will educate others.

Here’s Mr. Perry’s revelation on CNN: http://tinyurl.com/ycwywu4

My revelations are on the “What’s this blog about” page, and there are more every day. Stay tuned, and stay brave.

My complaining has paid off!

mypolaropposite — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 17:38:16 +0000

You may wonder why my oddly refreshing voice has been silent for a while…that’s because I’ve made it to the New York Times!

Here’s the link to my story, which regular followers may recognize as an edit of “Pick up your damn pants!”. Recycling is good, so I’ve come to think of this is as my environmental article – 100% green!

http://tinyurl.com/yd75ray

Check it out, and see me in black and white in this Sunday’s paper – Metro Section, “Complaint Box” (of course).