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No beans in this oven

While riding the subway one day, a woman got into the car carrying a 176-count box of Pampers.  According to the carton, it was their largest “everday” size.  Apparently there exists another, larger “special occasion” box for some sad mother to lug through a retail outlet, then wedge into a car or maneuver onto a [...]

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

Even at my age, if someone wanted to gather together a group of my peers and engage us in some age-appropriate activities I’d be on it like a Westside whore on a New Jersey [...]

Can I make a citizen's arrest?

Admittedly, I know nothing about raising children.  I don’t have any kids, and I’ve never really taken care of anyone else’s kids when they weren’t around.  So I’m not exactly qualified to give any advice on disciplining your children or anything remotely related to it.  But I do have common sense, and I am a [...]

Baby love, my baby love

When I was younger, I didn’t like babies.  You had to hold them up and carry them around, and they never talked back when you spoke to them (I’ve always been big on the conversation) so what was the point?  And they cried and you couldn’t do anything about it.  Whenever someone asked if I [...]