Dating While Bipolar: To Sex or Not to Sex

As Matt and I near the day of our second date, we’ve begin to explore the layers of our Sex-Positions-Silhouettesrelationship, particularly the onset of a sexual relationship.  You might think that the time between dates number one and two is too early to bring up sex.  Like many things, I’m of two minds about this.  Matt and I have a very strong attraction for each other and agree that we anticipate a strong sexual compatibility.  Also, we’ve both been with numerous partners, he’s divorced and I got out of a serious relationship at about the same time his marriage ended.  Essentially, we’re grown and we can do whatever we want, with whomever we want, whenever we want.  But in spite of my sexual freedom and desire, pursuing a more intimate relationship has as much of an effect on my mind as my body.

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Dating While Bipolar: Ruminations on love

love cardsLove – or romance, or whatever you call it when two people are drawn to each other in a non-platonic sense – is like gambling.  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you lose your house.  It’s not a sure thing, at least in my experience.  People endure unhappiness and loneliness too often for love to have a guaranteed payback like slot machines in a casino, which you also shouldn’t believe.

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Dating While Bipolar: Messed Up Expectations

I’ve mentioned to you before that I hate dating.  I’m not talking about being in a relationship with someone, but public outings with someone you don’t know well which involve some manner of getting to know each other better, usually through talking.  These pre-arranged outings a deux send my heart into palpitations and are the only activities other than exercise which make my hands sweat.

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The Triggers of Dating

indexAnyone who knows me probably knows that I hate dating.  I’m what you’d call an outgoing introvert, which means that I like being social even though I’m still pretty weird about people and social things.  Dating triggers a DEFCON 1 level of that weirdness in me.  I haven’t really figured out what it is.  It’s not meeting a new person, because I’m OK with that in professional settings.  It’s not one-on-one interactions because I have plenty of those with family and friends.  Maybe dating just brings up my character flaws and I feel more comfortable tackling those on the couch than with a cocktail and a near-stranger.

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