Writer, Marketer, Internet Geek, Sarcastic Smartypants…all these words describe me and none of them really define who I am. Everyone likes to think they’re an enigma, and perhaps we all are, but I feel like one more often than most. You might say that I am my own polar opposite, hence the name of this site. Here’s what I mean:
I’ve been known to dance on a table, dance on the bar, or grab the mic and sing with the band. Then again, sometimes I sit in the corner and don’t talk to anyone, or I don’t even go out. I love to run, or nap on the sofa all day; either is good. I’m painfully shy, but I’ll talk to almost anyone, anywhere about anything. I love giving presentations, but I have terrible stage fright. I flunked out of college, but that was before I graduated from Yale and got an MBA. I’m an only child, but I have a huge family. I love to entertain and throw parties, except on my birthday when I’m afraid nobody will show up. I love to make people laugh, but I really enjoy a good cry.
Importantly, though not necessarily prominently, I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Almost 8 years after I was initially diagnosed with major depression. To me, it’s life-altering but not life-shattering. I started this blog because of it, not because I want to write yet another blog about how I feel on any given day, or what my therapist said to me, or how I don’t want to take my meds. I want to represent what life looks like for someone living with mental illness. I remember it when I go to the pharmacy, or when I’m having a bad day, or when the media or a friend or even a family member says something a little insensitive like “Why are you depressed? You don’t have anything to be depressed about.” I don’t have much to be sad about in general, but people need to learn the difference between an emotion and an emotional disorder.
From time to time, I’ll get up on my soapbox about mental health issues or something that happened to me or happened on TV. You’ll find those posts under “Health” or “Mental Health”. Otherwise I’ll write snarky posts about almost anything, silently representing for all the other smart, accomplished, funny people in the world with mental illness. And for the ones who’ve plumbed the depths of life, who think the struggle is always going to be hard, I’ll hopefully be that glimmer of hope that things don’t always have to suck.
Since I’m out here on a limb, I’m dubious about getting another job or another date again. But I can live with that if I help someone out, or get a book deal! So stay tuned….