Bipolar in the Friend Zone: A Lesson in Patience

For the first time in a while, I find myself in the friend zone. You know, that place where you have romantic feelings for someone who doesn’t return them. I’ve decided to stay here for a while, but it’s testing my patience and possibly triggering my depression.

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How I Use Dating to Gauge My Mental Illness Recovery

How I Use Relationships to Gauge My Mental Illness RecoveryI’ve spent a lot of time on this blog talking about how dating makes me crazy, my mental illness recovery notwithstanding. I dislike the putting yourself out there. The waiting. The wondering. Still, I’m not content to spend the rest of my life alone, so I have to do something to meet and engage with actual humans. And I’ve actually met one. Interestingly enough, how I’m handling this connection has told me a great deal about the progress of my mental illness recovery.

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Dating and Mourning and Bipolar

The end of a relationship can feel very similar to the end of a life.  There’s grief, anger, guilt and varying degrees of sadness. Unfortunately this week I’m mourning both kinds of endings: a break-up, and the death of a potential suitor.  The feelings compounded by these two events are damaging to a mood that’s tenuous at best.

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Sex and Bipolar Mania

Today is the first full day of Spring, and I may have Spring Fever.  Or maybe I’m feeling flask_Whiskey_Frisky_pink_4_1024x1024a little manic.  I could be a little depressed.  Or just frisky. I don’t really know how I feel, I only know how I’m acting these days and the times in which I’ve acted like this before haven’t turned out so well.

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Dating While Bipolar: Failures in Love

So, I learned something about Matt that made me re-evaluate our relationship, for lack of a better term.  It’s not anything bad or irreparable, but it caused me Failuredisappointment about the nature of our dating life.  Or maybe I was just disappointed in myself for having misjudged the situation.  Anyway, the particulars of what I learned are unimportant. To me what matters is that I felt exactly as I did at 12 years old when I had a crush on Josh Rosen and there was nothing I could do to make him “like like” me. Another thirty years of life have apparently given me lots of experience without the wisdom that usually accompanies age.

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